Phrases that come out of my mouth…

Friend: Don't you sometimes wish you could fart in his general direction?

Me: Just in his general direction? Honey, I'd climb in his lap and fart ON him.

– referring to the same gentleman that wouldn't be able to wipe my bum properly.

 

I am just beyond ladylike, aren't I?

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13 Responses to Phrases that come out of my mouth…

  1. Aubrey says:

    He sounds worthy of the entire quote:
    "I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

  2. lostdwarf says:

    Ahhh, Monty Python. I love your genius.

  3. sylph says:

    You're just all out of control, aren't you?

  4. lostdwarf says:

    I blame my oncoming cold for lessening the already thin filter in my brain.

  5. foxsydee says:

    Whatever life hands you……just refer to Monty Python-isms! Its the guide to life! hahaha! πŸ™‚
    You crack me up! Whatcha doing this weekend?

  6. foxsydee says:

    you forgot:
    " Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time." (I use that one a lot more than I probably should).
    Or when all else fails:
    "Fetchez la vache"

  7. lostdwarf says:

    I'm going to pick up my first aid textbooks, go to a gallery opening, go buy my dress for my cousin's wedding and then head to Pajo's for some fish and chips. What are you doing?

  8. foxsydee says:

    wow! busy ladee, you are! πŸ™‚
    Other than church, cleaning, rattling around the apartment, and lamenting my 11th wedding anniversary on Monday……..nothing. The "other person" is away Friday night to late Monday night (trade show in Whistler) so I won't have anyone bothering me for a few days.
    If you want to do anything, let me know! πŸ™‚

  9. Kzinti says:

    Silly English Kniggit!
    Could've said something like, "He looks like a clear bag of unwiped smooshed assholes!", or "Suck a fart outta my ass" or. "He looks like a bowl of cream of ass soup" or… Uh… Nevermind. Not helping, am I? LOL

  10. lostdwarf says:

    HAH! Not helping with the filter but you're DEFINITELY adding to my insult collection!

  11. *applause* PARFAIT!!!!And cold? You're getting a cold??? *runs**comes back wearing a mask on but still tries not to breathe anywhere near the rhinoviriii I hope you don't get that cold!!! ((coldhugd))

  12. lostdwarf says:

    Ugh, I have the feeling I'm going to spend a lot of my Sunday sleeping.

  13. Sleep is good.(((morecoldhugs)))

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